why? dont be mad. :(
Why? I was mad because there is no one I can connect with. There is nothing. I was going to write a big long rant about how I long for mutual exchange with someone and how I’m apparently not important enough to anyone for that. But it’s not important anymore. Someday, I will die. Someday, you will die. Someday, anyone we’ve ever cared about…and everyone we haven’t…they will all die. And that’s okay. All this is silly. A distraction. From me getting to enjoy the beauty of all life…the beauty of the people I love like you and others. It doesn’t matter if no one cares about me. Because I care about them. And that’s all that matters to me.
I am fine, now that I have dreams of human love dead in me. In death something more is born. A new kind of love that needs no one else to survive. Just like my happiness. I’m disconnecting from the world, and connecting with it on a whole different level. It’s scary, but also very exciting. And so I won’t be mad. I can’t be. Not anymore.